Wednesday 21 February 2018

THE UNKINDEST CUT?

Isn't it strange that, when female genital mutilation is widely outlawed and reviled in the UK, male genital mutilation continues without a murmur?

Saturday 3 February 2018

TIMING

Timing is everything.

Take, for example, the father of one of a number of young women abused by a gymnastics doctor.

Attending the trial of the abuser, the Father asks the Judge for five minutes in a locked room with the perpetrator. The Judge of course refuses. One minute, then, asks the Father. Again, the Judge begins to refuse. The Father lunges forward with a view to attacking the defendant. Deputies quickly grab him, before any harm is done. He is wrestled to the ground, cuffed and led away. I expect he will not be charged, though it's a possibility. When he returns home and perhaps goes to his local bar for a drink, people will gather round and clap him on the back, perhaps buy him a beer. "I'd have done the same myself," they'll say.

But I think the moment of sentencing is an odd time to choose.

Were my daughter to make an honest accusation of abuse, it is possible to imagine I might quickly find myself in a private confrontation with the accused, well before any legal proceedings. A confrontation which might quickly escalate, with the accused man becoming angry enough to threaten me, or even attempt to assault me. Acting therefore purely in self defence, the sharpened machete I happen to have with me would be a natural weapon to deploy.

With nothing other than reasonable force, of course.

No one would congratulate me for that.

But then, I don't often go to bars anyway.

ME TOO

I've looked at news of a number of stars revealing their horrible experiences of sexual coercion and abuse. As the hashtag me too movement gathers pace, more emerge. The perpetrators involved are being named, shamed, and in some cases, criminally punished. But to me it seems we are missing a trick.

The celebrities who are victims of these attacks have nevertheless gone on to success and prominence. That's why they have our attention about their abuse. The trick we are missing is asking these people, "how did you deal with this horrible experience, put it in its place and still go on to success?"

Of course it is right that awareness is raised in order to diminish this particular horrible behaviour. But life will never be free of adversity, and successful people are those who can deal with it, move on and still build their dreams and aspirations into realities.

Mining these skills, understanding them, and passing them on is the real trick. And we're missing it.