Sunday, 25 August 2013

Saturday, 24 August 2013


Once I had a client who wanted to get his Board thinking differently.
He said, "I want them to put different hats on".
Well, that was easy to arrange.
At their event I simply supplied some different hats. His was a large brimmed pink affair such as one sees ladies wearing at Ascot. He rather enjoyed the attention he got from wearing it. I bet him £10 that he wouldn't wear it in his car all the way home. I lost. Paying out, I framed the tenner, having defaced Her Majesty's head by adding a bright pink hat.

Joking with another client about "what do I have to do to get you to buy our services?"
He answered, "bribe me."
I whipped out a tenner and wrote on it THIS IS A BRIBE.
He pinned up the tenner in his office, and it was there for months.
But then a cleaner nicked it.

Friday, 16 August 2013


Sail the given wind.

Thursday, 15 August 2013


That which you need, give.

Monday, 5 August 2013

Turkeys don't vote for Christmas.

That's how you know who the turkeys are.
"H ! You are being irritatingly inflexible."

"Flexible people have no sense of direction."

Thursday, 1 August 2013


Some people have bird feeders.

We have a fruit and vegetable garden.

Same thing.