Thursday 3 December 2009

A VINTAGE OCCASION

ME: ............. and to go with that we'll have a bottle of your Barolo 2005.
WAITER: Very good, sir.
Waiter brings the bottle.
WAITER: How's that?
ME: Mmm. It's a Barolo, but not the one on your wine list. This is a 2006. Could you bring me the 2005 please?
WAITER: Ah. Sorry about that. Goes off to collect correct wine and returns.
Er, I'm sorry but we don't actually have the 2005 wine.
ME: I see. Let's have another look at the list. We'll choose another. This Chianti Classico 2005 will be fine.
Waiter disappears and reappears with the bottle.
ME: That also appears not to be the 2005, but the 2006.
WAITER: Ah, Yes. I don't think we have the 2005.
ME: OK. How about you just take the wine list and tell me which of your advertised wines you do have?
WAITER: Returning. I've had a look and it appears this Tempranillo is the only one.
ME: Interesting. And looking at the wine list, that wine isn't the same as advertised either. It is, again, a different vintage.
WAITER: ...................................
ME: So none of the wines on your list is actually available; only a different set of wines not advertised....
WAITER: ....................................
ME: I'm sure you can see the problem here.
WAITER: Yes.
ME: And I'm sure a Trading Standards Officer would see it too.
WAITER: ..................................
ME: Well, here's what I suggest. As I am pointing this error out to you and therefore saving you a lot of potential hassle and cost, not to say quite possibly a prosecution, I suggest you provide me free of charge with a decent wine of your choosing and I'll agree not to call trading standards in the morning to give you a chance to sort the matter out.
WAITER: ............................ OK then.

5 comments:

  1. Very impressive. I'm sure I'd just get told to go away and see where I got contacting trading standards. I hope the wine was decent!

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  2. The wine was lovely actually. I'm not a wine snob, nor indeed one who knows anything much about wine. And my attention to detail is rubbish, so it was surprising I spotted it. Knowing how crap the customer service of trading standards is likely to be, I suspect I'd have got pretty much nowhere.
    But the restaurant wouldn't have had a leg to stand on if I had.......

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  3. Free wine is good wine....it is written in the book of ages.....

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  4. It appears, dear friend, that you actually picked up a couple of suggestions from a certain gentleman of my knowing... we were laughing at the déjà-vu whilst reading it!! ;-D P&M

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  5. @ Anonymous

    I have to acknowledge that I owe your friend a debt of gratitude. He has been influential to me in this as in many other things!!

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