BREAKFAST

I get compliments for my scrambled eggs.

Here is how I do them.

Put a big knob of butter in a saucepan. Enough. Then put another in. Too much. That's more like it.

Only ever use proper salted farmhouse butter. Unsalted butter is for pale people, and Christians. Trust me. Use that stuff and the lions will win in the arena.

Break three eggs per person into this when melted.

Scramble 'em about a bit with a wooden spoon.

Put two bits of toast on per lucky recipient. Butter them when ready. Yeah. More butter.

Just when you think, those eggs aren't quite ready, whip 'em off the heat. They will continue to cook a bit in the pan and even on the toast, so carpe diem. This is the moment to serve them.

Sometimes, if I am poncing about, I put a sprig of fresh basil - tiny green leaves - on each piece of toast.

If I am making this for myself, I will layer anchovies on the toast before putting the eggs on, or spread the toast with Marmite, or even, rich luxury, put some smoked salmon on. But few of my guests go for this.

They like the eggs though.