JUST SAD

I am sad.
There. Said it.
There is no particular cause.
The gift of today is as bountiful as any other day. Grey. Cold. Very very windy, I grant you. But there is nothing wrong with it. Nothing adverse has happened.
But I feel sad. Not sad for a reason. Just sad. Not depressed - no, I know that old enemy well, and it's different, especially its favoured kidology of "this won't ever pass." I know this will pass.
To know sadness is a wonderful thing. It attunes you towards compassion. And it offers a great and honest relaxation, if you can admit to yourself what society, media and even those who care most for you so often censor away.
It is not especially often that I do feel sad. On the whole I'm more inclined to cheery. Or at least, grumpy, with a good dash of ironic humour. But sad it is today.
I wonder about trans generational sadness. My Father had his first family blown to bits in the war. In a sense, that catastrophe was my causing. I wouldn't be here without it. Yet, like many men of his generation, my Father never spoke of his war, or of the terrible things it brought him. He must have had a sadness so terrible I have never known anything like it, and certainly do not today. Yet I never remember him showing that. He was a dry, humorous and unfailingly kind and gentle man. Perhaps emotional concealment was ineffective, and the gauze of history let it all through to me, despite that. I don't know. It needs no cure. And, like all things, it will pass.