BIRDS ON FILM

You know the old Ealing Studios films, when there is a police search. The bobbies stalk in line abreast, and, obviously in black and white, looking for clues. One of them eventually finds something.

"Over 'ere, Sah!" he calls, in inevitably cockney tones.

Then, a couple of detectives look at whatever has been found and pass exchanges in clipped, Pathe news, RP.

Ealing Studios had relocated in time and place to the lawns on the east of the house this morning and had recruited woodpigeons to play the rozzers. In strict line abreast they patrolled, working the lawns from North to South, as organised as any rual constabulary.

And in another filmic moment, I was awakened by a mini Miss Havisham. Yesterday, as a special treat whilst on a shopping spree, the mini Princess was allowed to choose one present. Eeny meeny miny mo............. a bride's dress, complete with veil!! Now, in an ecstasy of romance, I am in demand as the bridegroom, despite my protestations.

"Dad, will you just marry me?"
"But I can't marry you. I'm your Dad."
"No. Dad. You just have to wait at the church here." (Somewhere in the hall).
"Can't you marry someone else?"
"Who?"
"What about the Connolly boys? Oscar? Alex? Finn?"
"NO. Dad. You've got to marry me."

Puzzling films, these two.
How did the pigeons organise?
What ARE the workings of an infant female mind?

I'll probably never be able to answer either.